Why Dogs Smell Urine

Because dogs can't use the internet. Urine is like the Facebook of the dog world. Where you or I might look at this month's photographic ratio of nudity to clothedness to determine whether a girl is ready to play croquet, so to speak, a dog will smell her urine. In our lives, when a girl sees another girl's half-nude portraits, she will typically forward or photoshop or otherwise mock/belittle said girl. A dog, on the other hand, will simply pee over the portrait, where the portrait equals pee. This is much easier. We have much to learn from dogs.

Sometimes dude dogs smell pee for territorial purposes, i.e., will I get my ass kicked today, or, this guy's been eating too much bacon and I will be able to take him and bang his girl. Similarly, in human life, a fellow might take stock of various suitors or boyfriends by Facebooking competitor's occupation, musical taste, interests. For instance, if sumo wrestling is listed as an occupation, our hero will throw in the towel and seek easier tail, so to speak. On the other hand, if Jason Mraz is listed as a musical fave, our hero has the full go-ahead, two thumbs up your asses. If there is contradictory information, it's best just to pee over the information.

Just as we typically use Facebook to feel bad, in comparison, about our lot in life, so too do dogs when they employ the smelling of urine. Who's gotten fatter? Who's been having relations? Relations with whom, and where? Who's richer and can afford premium meat/shoes? All these questions can be answered, and adequate self-loathing can commence.

Peeing around other pee is also a way of communicating. Dogs can remember other dog's scent, for they have a vast database of scents in storage. Thus, peeing next to your friend's pee is just like a Facebook message, though there is still the danger of an unwanted Reply All. Dogs do not use Facebook chat. We have much to learn from dogs.